A Friend in need is a friend indeed

I have ever posted about my gang-gals called REMBERS who consist of  9 super awesome friends that you could ever imagine in my first writing and yes I love them so much. Now, I wanna tell you a story about one of them, a girl who can let you think over your dream, believe it and make it happen (sounds like Agnes Monica's twitter bio hahah). We call her Mbae, she's originally come from Surabaya, Jawa Timur and has Madura ethnic in her blood. This Madura-bloodline naturally has formed her into a tough girl. She has no fear of  telling people on how her feeling toward that person and yes to be honest sometimes it would insult them but she's totally cool with people's reaction on her outspoken act. She's so sensitive and I've ever told that she can read people's character but she admit it as her long observation on that people. She's one of the person with critics and a smart ass in term of  history. 

One of the devastating moment was when she had to lose her mom when we were in second year of college due to cervical cancer. At that time she become an orphanage girl and I couldn't imagine my life if I had to be in her shoes. She's also known as a girl with the high pride and dignity among REMBERS and sometimes if we want to help her in term of money, we were kind of afraid that she would reject it and get her pride hurt or something. Thus, honestly, in this Rembership (my gang friendshipness) we're not reluctant to lend a hand to help each other and yes that's what friends are for. As time passed and so does our wisdom rises, we find that this rembership become one of the bond that keep us together, tougher and stronger especially in the hard period of studying chinese, (true story). Our Mbae also changed, she's not that girl who is feeling offended or get her pride hurt every time we want to share or help her ( she's not the vulnerable girl that often need help, we just like to help each other anyway). 

I gotta tell that she's the only one of my friend that know almost all of my kegalauan and dark ages. I feel that if I tell her anything that bother me a lot, she would give words that totally can comfort me in surprise way. If I had a hard time, I would come to her and hope for her words. She is totally a person who I can talk to without hesitant and embarrassment if I talk about my bad thoughts or attitude. One thing for sure, despite of her hardship as an orphanage who has to stand on her own feet in order to survive in city, she can manage a good model on me to show that live life to the fullest and pursue your dream. She's going to Taiwan this August ( yeah she's chosen as one of six TETO scholarship grantee ) to study there for one year and yes she's now in her effort to make money in order to survive in first month of her study in Taiwan. She also inspire me to keep calm and lean on God every time I'm dying to get out of the hardship. I'm gonna miss her so much, since we're gonna be separated for the next one year.

Beyond My Wildest Fanfic

       Finally, I can remember my blog's email and password. So, it's the last-two day on June and here I am waiting for my scholarship package from Suzhou University (fingerscrossed). I haven't made official announcement that FINALLY  I'VE  BEEN ACCEPTED TO SUZHOU UNIVERSITY IN CHINA TO STUDY ONE-WHOLE-FYEAR OF CHINESE. Yeaaayy..I'm gonna study in China for one year, I'm gonna have my very first experience of going abroad in my 23-years of life. I'll have a first stamp on the first page of my brand new passport ( OK call me norak or something ). Yet,actually, I'm friggin' nervous about my plan to study in Suzhou, China, why?

1. I forgot to fill in my current address on my scholarship application with my kosan address, instead, I filled in it with My Grandpa's address. Fortunately, someone whom I know on chinese forum that I've joined to keep up with the scholar's info has told me to contact the international office staff in Suzhou to tell them my current address or my latest acceptance mailing address has changed. It worked and they asked me the address and will inform me later about the admission letter,  JW202 form , med-check form, etc.

2. I haven't received any official email from Suzhou University to congratulate me on my success to become their soon-to-be student for the next one year. I even have to contact with them first because I need them to know that my acceptance mailing address was different with what's on my application form. 

3.   On financial side, I don't even know if I could manage to collect 10 millions rupiah something in order to survive in the first weeks of living in Suzhou plus all the tetek-bengek of preparation to China.

          Yet, I really really grateful that God finally answer all of my kegalauan for these past 9 months. I even posted on my previous post that I was dying to get out of my sicko-daily routine that has consumed me alive for these past months. It's totally beyoooonnnddd my wildest fanfic and still can't believe my luck. You will when you believe is no longer a dreamy catch-phrase for me. THANK GOD.

CHOKE

I haven't touched this blog since November last  year ( like anybody will mind it ), a lot of this and that moments has happened, anyway here i am, 23 years old something in the midst of wet April and just had another Rachel Berry's choke moment. What the heck with this Berry's choke moment from Glee season 3?! it's kinda long story but i got long hours to tell ya. If you're Gleek or sort of watching this musical TV series, you would know that there's episode in season 3 titled "choke". It was an epic-fail moment of Rachel Berry ( Lea Michele) who flunked her chance to get accepted in NYADA ( her dream college for zillion years) while she was doing her song which she practically has sung  it for her whole life ( i forgot the title ) in her audition. So, it comes to our sense that how could this ambitious-obsessed bitch threw her only chance to get closer to her dream just like that? It used to be nothing more than sometimes you-need-to be-thrown into the deepest cliff to know how important to climb out of this and really mean to be on the peak-sort of that message. Furthermore, this just to remind us that you will always find any kinds of troubles that get in a way of your pursuing dreams trial. Hell Berry,  before I'm associating the Berry's choke moment to mine, I'll try to give a brief intro first. I've been working in Japanese company for 5-straight-months ( I've told you in my previous post) and to be honest, other than money, I TRULY HATE THE JOB, sorry God, I'm not playing ungrateful bitch and whining kid role, but I DO HATE IT. Nothing's wrong with the job nor the colleagues, but still deep down my heart I knew it's not my destiny, I'm not supposed to be there. Worse, every time I go to the office which located in Sudirman but close Blok-M, I have to keep my sanity and ability to survive in the most crappy-chaotic public transportation called Commuter Line. I feel like having horror in every single attempt to reach my office by using this mothafucka train. It's getting worse when they changed the train schedule on April 1st, so I have to get up earlier in order to get a chance to get on the train. FUCK. Apparently the horror doesn't want to knock me down once, this April's schedule is also torturing me at my  home way in the  evening. I'm completely dead-walking bitch 5 days 7 to 9 these past 5 months. I knew I had hoping to be employed in my last post, but now I feel terrible ( sorry God if  I'm being such an ungrateful bitch). The Coca-Cola's interview didn't go well, I flunked the chance to be accepted in US scholarship ( they even sent me the rejection letter ) so I ended up in that company for these last 5 months. I'm trying to keep up with the work ethics and rhymes but still have to work my ass off to do so. I finally chose to bend my numbness into the hunts for books and scholarship. I've read some books and most of them not so my preference, yet there some of it were the real deal. At least, I got lotso vocabs to learn and keep my sanity. Scholarship, I'm in the middle of processing my Chinese Hanban scholarship. I'm not really into China-Studying though, but I wanna this scholarship, so I could get out of this boring routine which gradually killing me inside for a moment. In order to apply this Hanban scholarship, I need to get HSK and HSKK certificate ( It's like written and oral TOEFL for Chinese ). I heard that HSK 5 is kinda hard to pass, so me and my fellas took HSK 4. The result was coming this afternoon, and I'm so close to say bye-bye to my application cuz I only got score 181 points ( Pass standard score is 180), It was such a long sigh moment. I did cry, mostly because I knew I'm completely mess, an epic loser who probably won't go anywhere with my petty score.Yet, I have to carry on when the application itself has been completed 99 %. This moment has been sucking up my hope, my source of happiness to stay away from the boring routine or I gotta say the real sweet escape for me. It's totally a real slog, real loss too. I knew I could have done lot better than this, I could have gotten a lot better result than this and keep blaming the computer system when I was doing the written test ( It's totally a massive factor why I got this so low score ), still it won't change anything, the fact that I'm so fricking dumb. Here the choke moment occurred, Rachel Berry, the magnificent yet obsessed singer who has sung for her entire life and totally root to the music, could meet failure and rejection, even the major one, so it's not that impossible to be happened on me. I'm not trying to compare my eagerness to study in China with Berry's passion in music which totally in the wide gap, but still the magnificent still find the failure and no wonder a person like me, the average one, have to experience the failures. Damn, I'm mumbling. Here I am, trying not to hope so much and suppress my eagerness to be pessimistic with my future.